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except to buy crack
The crazy candy-giving bus driver had green, orange and white balloons up in his bus to celebrate St-Patrick's Day. And he was giving away candy. And chatting with his crazy passenger friend. (The driver is Quebecois and the passenger is Chinese. They're speaking French.)
Driver: Here, have some candy! For St-Patrick's Day!
Passenger: You should have worn green! For St-Patrick's Day!
Driver: Well, I would have, if I had been allowed, but we're not. I would have maybe worn one of those skirts, you know, what are they called? Kilts?
P: Yeah, kilts, but those are Scottish.
D: Oh, really?
P: You have to be careful not to confuse them, because they are not the same. They are both Gaelic, though. Both part of the Gaelic family. They are like cousins.
D: Right, right. Huh. What's the difference, though?
P: You know, it's like the Israelis, I mean the Jews, and the Arabs. They are cousins, you know.
D: They are?
P: Yup.
D: But they don't like each other much.
P: Just like in real families. Ha ha.
D: Heh, yeah.
P: But the ones you have to be real careful about are the Hindus, oops, I mean, the Indians. You have to be careful, because the religion is Hindu and the nationality is Indian. That's confusing. You have to be careful not to mix them up.
D: Now, Hindus are a lot like Chinese, from what I understand.
P: Um...
[fast-forward through the rest of this part of the conversation which is borderline retarded and racist, to later, when the driver is trying to hand out candy to people getting on the bus]
D: [poutily] No one is taking my chocolate!
P: It's because of lent! They're not eating chocolate! Because of lent!
D: Oh, right, lent. Hey, did you know that in the olden days people used to fast during lent? That's right, they didn't eat for forty days and forty nights.
P: Hmmm. I'm not sure-
D: Of course, these days, they can't do that anymore because all the restaurants would go under.
P: Well, you know, the restaurants today aren't really doing any better than they were before. I mean look, here, on this street, Parc, there's so many restaurants and they're just empty. Look, there's one coming up, I'll show you. See?
D: Oh, well, that? That's the worst restaurant I've ever seen! I mean, come on! That's probably not even a restaurant, it's just a shitty cover-up for a crack house. They just put a sign out front and deal drugs out the back. They probably don't even sell food! I would never go there!
P: Um, no, it's a restaurant. I've been there. The food is good. It's a mixture of Indian and Chinese.
D: Well, it looks like a crack house to me. Very suspicious.
P: Um, ok. Well, see ya. [exits bus]
D: Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
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