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then i think she was mad because we left to go to ikea
Today at work I ate a piece of pizza and I felt guilty. Like that one small piece of dough somehow trivialized all the hardships my ancestors have had to go through and flippantly dismissed how blessed I am to lead the life of relative comfort that I do. How hard would it have been to wait another 5 days for that pizza in order to show proper respect and gratitude for my freedom from slavery? Not hard enough, my conscience nagged at me.
Then I drank some beer and I felt much better. Ah, beer and pizza. I work for a classy company.
Here is part of an IM conversation I had with my father on Monday while I waited for my mom to come and pick me up to bring me to my grandparents' (my Bubby and Zadie) to celebrate Passover. There was a bit of a kerfuffle because my grandparents insisted on having their Seder on Monday instead of Tuesday even though most of the family couldn't make it Monday.* My father had no real excuse but I think took everyone else's not going as license for himself to stay home. (My father is also not Jewish.) To be fair, I also briefly considered doing this as I don't really get along with my grandparents but then my mother played the "they won't be alive for much longer" guilt card. This was the first Passover I have spent without my entire family present.
*One of my sisters had to work; the other had rehearsal for her high school play; my aunt and uncle had town council meetings; my cousin can't drive and so couldn't go without them; my other cousin's kids were at the Seder at their paternal grandparents' home; my other other cousin is in the Czech Republic and wouldn't be able to come on Tuesday either.
lamb: i was just wondering if they had left yet
lamb: you aren't coming?
lamb: ??
dad: No [my mom] isn't home yet from school. She said 2:30. I'm not planning to come. I have to try to keep marking, class prepping, producing my council budget which has to be approved by the Board and ready for mailing this week, plus a bunch of bike trail stuff. Are you going?
lamb: oh ok
lamb: yeah, she is supposed to pick me up at work and then we are going to the store to buy matzos so i am just trying to gauge (is that right?) the amt of work i can get done
lamb: it will be weird to go to a Seder with so much of the family missing
lamb: i hope this doesn't mean i have to spend more time talking to bubby
dad: Sure it does, and that's all right. Talk about yourself a little bit, your work etc.
lamb: last year the only thing she said to me was about how she didn't like my hair
dad: [my mom] was kind of resentful of the timing and everything, and Bubby sounded to her resentful of the fact that [my uncle and aunt] won't make it. But the only one's missing will be me, [aunt & uncle] and [one of my cousins]. Oh and [my two sisters]. You'll still be a good gang.
dad: So brush your hair for Bubby. That's not too much to ask for these quite elderly folks.
lamb: no, it was because my bangs were too short, remember?
lamb: then i think she was mad because we left to go to ikea
dad: Not a problem now.
lamb: that's still a lot of people missing
dad: So this time the store visiting is coming first.
lamb: haha
lamb: yes, but that's how it was last year too
lamb: except then you wanted to go back
dad: But how about the [my cousin's boyfriend] present? Count the positives, and the total around the table.
dad: Sure I did. Isn't that when we got that lovely patio umbrella?
lamb: no you got that the first time. we went back to get my bookshelves
dad: oh
lamb: yeah, yeah, [my cousin's boyfriend] whatever. neither of my sisters will be there
lamb: and we won't be able to goof off
dad: You mean you won't be able to sneak out and watch the NCAA final basketball game on Channel 3? (Don't squeal on me, now!)
lamb: no, mostly i mean i won't have anyone to make funny faces at during the really boring parts
dad: Besides, as Zadie said to me one time, (he caught me out, actually, and I was guilty and felt it), Is it too much to ask that you sit and pray once in a while? Treat the exercise as the spiritual prayer it is supposed to be? A time to remember a higher being and purpose, to rejoice in our precious freedom that we so often now take for granted? To revere the deep spiritual tradition of your ancestors?
lamb: yeah yeah says the person who is not coming
lamb: also, i can still do all that and make funny faces during the "the days means only the days but all the days of your life includes the nights also blah blah blah" part
dad: I'm sending my message though. Be sure and say Hi for me.
lamb: ok
lamb: you'd better get a lot of work done
lamb: while you are watching all that basketball
dad: I'll try. Shall we sign off now?
lamb: ok, bye dad
dad: Bye sweetie.
dad signed off at 3:16:01 PM.
Happy Buddha's birthday!
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"The mind of the thoroughly well informed [person] is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, and everything priced above its proper value."
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