|
Dear Bell Canada,
Please stop calling me. I have Call Display and you should know this since you are the provider. I have Call Display so every day I come home from work and see that you have called me twice. If I wanted to know what you were calling about I would call you back. Please take the hint. If you wanted me to know what you were calling me about you could leave a message. If there is one thing that I hate it is people who call but don't leave a message. If you have nothing to say why are you calling in the first place? If you want to talk to me, leave a message saying so and I will call you back. I have voice mail, which you also provide, and should therefore know about. Don't call back later pretending you haven't already tried. I have Call Display, dumb ass, I can tell that you called.
In case you are calling about my long distance plan, let's just settle that issue right here. I don't want your long distance plan. More specifically, I don't want to talk to your representative who will try to sell me your long distance plan because it is her or his job to do so because I will feel sorry for them and listen to their pitch before ultimately rejecting it because I already have a long distance plan which is just as good and it will be a waste of your time and mine. I am pretty sure you are calling about my long distance plan, which is why, even when I am at home and you call, I can tell that it is you calling (thanks to Call Display, as you now know) and I don't answer.
Listen. I was kind of snarky before about how you call and don't leave a message, but I know how it works. The truth is, I used to work for you, Bell Canada, doing market research. It was the worst job I ever had and also the shortest since I quit after two months. Two months was as much as I could take of spending all day on the phone calling people who didn't want to talk to me and hating myself. I was always relieved when I called a number and no one answered. Another person spared, I would think. Lucky them. I was always secretly hoping for a no answer. In market research, after five no answers, the policy was to take number off the to-call list. Coding fifth no answers was the best part of my day. That was a good policy. Obviously it does not extend to the sales department as you have now called me over two dozen times in the past two weeks. When will it end?
If you were not you, but someone else I didn't want to talk to, this is when I would call you and have you block the number. The small monthly fee I would have to pay would be nothing compared to the pain and suffering I would be spared by not having to see your number on the Call Display and be reminded of the worst two months of my life every single day when I come home from work and sometimes again later in the evening when you call back. But there is no way I am going to pay you to block your own number. Would you even consent to doing that? I am not going to ask, but I am curious.
It would really be pointless, since I could just call you back and ask you to stop calling me. I have your number after all, it is stored in my Call Display.
The thing is, I feel like after two weeks we are sort locked in a battle of wits. I am now wondering how long it will be before you check your records and realize that I have Call Display and begin to suspect that I am deliberately not answering your calls. I am wondering how many no answers you have to get from me until you cross me off your list. I am not going to let you win this game by giving in and answering the phone, no matter how many times you try. I have gone two weeks and I can go longer. As long as I have to until you give up.
I'm just saying. You are not going to get through, so you might as well quit trying. For your own sake, Bell Canada, please stop calling me.
I don't know how else to tell you.
Sincerely,
Your devoted customer.
|
|
|
about
"The mind of the thoroughly well informed [person] is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, and everything priced above its proper value."
archives
credits
|
|