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no matter which way you turn, you get it in the eye
I have been forgetting my camera at home recently and have been unable to (visually) document all the exciting things I have witnessed: Phil's excellent graduation recital; the way the leaves in the Townships are just beginning to turn and so the landscape is this gorgeous mixture of bright green and bright orange and dark red and yellow that just makes you want to look at it forever because you have never seen anything so beautiful; the crazy Centraide march of 1 000 umbrellas (more like 10 000) that I walked through on my way to work today. I could have taken a great picture from my office window on the 8th floor. Alas, you will have to imagine it: umbrellas, all the way from future shop down to place-des-arts.
Luckily for you though, you will not have to imagine the conversation that happens when you get a bunch of young and bored linguists in a room together at lunch time, because I have documented that one for you:
[We enter the conversation already in progress]
"No, wait. Soy cheese. Yeah. Imagine if you were in a room made out of soy cheese and you had to eat your way out."
"That is the most barftastic thing you have ever said."
"Hey, nice cranberry morpheme!"
"Nice portmanteau!"
[Sadly, the conversation continued passed this point, and much longer than it should have, and included some discussion of the lingusitic composition of the word 'barftastic' that I have kindly omitted for your sake. Feel free to stop reading right here.]
"Soy cheese, no. Sharp cheddar, though, yum. A whole room made of sharp cheddar. That I could do. Or jelly beans."
"There's no way you could eat that many jelly beans. Well. I guess it would depend on the thickness of the walls."
"Imagine if you were in a room made out of bacon."
"I think the worst part would be the smell. Bacon is pretty overpowering. The smell gets into everything."
"But it's not as bad as the taste of soy cheese. I would pick bacon over soy cheese, and I'm a vegetarian. And I think bacon is disgusting. But soy cheese is just much, much worse."
"You could probably eat your way out, but you would have to take breaks, in between the eating."
"Yeah, I ate two pounds of bacon last night. Afterwards, I, uh, didn't feel so good."
"Ugh, imagine being surrounded by the texture of bacon. That would be uncomfortable."
"Couldn't you just dig your way out of the room? Why do you have to eat it all?"
"No. It's a special property of the room that you have to eat it in order to get out. I don't know why I never thought of this before, a room that you had to eat your way out of. But it's good."
"It's horrifying."
"It's horrifyingly good."
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"The mind of the thoroughly well informed [person] is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, and everything priced above its proper value."
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