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a cautionary rant (unedited)
I highly doubt that anyone who reads this has an account with Excel Telecommunications (a long distance provider), but on the off chance that you do, you need to cancel that shit right the hell now because they are motherfucking dicks. Or, if you don't have an account, I need to you to promise that you will never, ever get one, even if it sounds like a good idea because a portion of your bill each month goes to a charity, like your mother's school, and she asks you to sign up as a favour to her and you figure, what the hell, what difference does it make? Oh. Let me tell you.
If you sign up with them they might send you a phone card, which you might put in your wallet, never use and forget about; and then your wallet might get stolen and you might not cancel your phone card, since you've forgotten all about it; and then 10 months later you might get a phone bill which shows $50 worth of phone calls made to Lybia using your card, and you will call up the company and explain to them that your phone card was lost and you did not make these calls and they will tell you you don't have to pay for it but then a month later you will get another bill and the charges will still be on it and you will call them again and they will put you on hold for an hour and finally come back and say, actually, it turns out that the matter is still under investigation and you will have to wait until you get your next bill to see whether the charges have been deleted or not and then call back. And you will be pissed off, because 1) they know what phone number the calls were made from, so how hard can it be to investigate and 2) your phone bill is consistently about $10 dollars a month and you basically call the same numbers over and over so it is SO COMPLETELY OBVIOUS that you would not suddenly wake up one day and make $50 worth of calls to fucking Lybia!
So you will be pacing around your apartment muttering that $50 is almost not worth this kind of hassle and this had better be sorted out by next month or you are so going to cancel your account with them and the phone will ring and it will be the guy you just talked to at Excel asking you when exactly you lost your phone card and then saying that it's your fault for not reporting it before the bogus charges were made and not actually coming out and saying that this means you will have to pay the charges until you ask him point blank and he answers, "Um, well, that's what it looks like." And then, when you tell him you want to cancel your account, he will smugly tell you that you can't. You have to sign up with a new provider who will do it for you. Then you will hang up and rip up your bill and be pissed off for about a week until you accept that $50 is basically a tax on your stupidity for signing up with a sketchy company that is named after a spreadsheet program in the first place.
Eat shit, Excel telecommunications. I guess I can kind of understand your argument that it is my fault for not reporting the theft of my card, but since it is painfully obvious that I am not lying about it, you are the one being an asshole by claiming that this is all just procedure. Don't you have insurance for these kinds of situations, for the love of god? And fine, ok, I guess I could accept that I have to pay for some thief's use of my card, even though this seems morally reprehensible, if you hadn't told me I wouldn't have to A MONTH AGO. And then have the gall to jerk me around on the phone for an hour before I can get an honest answer out of anyone. You are liars and you are assholes. How dare you promise me one thing and then take it back. If you made a mistake it's your own fault and you should pay for it. But whatever, I am over it. I will pay it and you will lose my business and therefore lose more overall and in the long run.
God, I hate telephones now even more than I used to. Thankfully my stint as a marketing researcher for Bell is far enough in the past that I have managed to repress it and sign up for their long distance plan without any painful memories of self-loathing re-surfacing.
***
In positive news, it turns out my antibodies are ass kicking jedi knights, because Johanna and Maxime both got sick, so Phil must have had the flu after all. The window of infection has now passed and I am still as fine as desert sand.
In other excellent news, Sam Rockwell is playing Zaphod Beeblebrox in the upcoming Hitchhiker's Guide movie. I'm so excited!
Tomorrow I get the results of my French placement test. I thought the test was pretty easy and considered flubbing a few answers so that I would get put in a lower level class but I settled for just not thinking about any of the questions for longer than a minute and was the second person done with an hour to spare in the allotted time. So we will see what results.
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