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killing me with kindness and karma
- One of the suckiest things in the history of sucking has to be when you plan in advance to take
a fake sick day an unpaid day off so that you can get all kinds of stuff done, and then you wake up on the appointed day feeling sick. And you can't get anything done because you feel too miserable. And you don't get paid sick days.
- Smaranda showed up unexpectedly at my apartment on Friday night carrying wrapped flowers, which she gave to me.
"These are for you. A customer gave them to me because I helped her out so now I'm giving them to you. They're flowers, and they're nice, but there are two of them, which in Romania symbolizes death. I don't know what it symbolizes in Canada, though. Nothing? Okay, good. Here."
"Wait, so you are giving me DEATH?!"
"No. I'm giving you two flowers."
I never would have thought that having flowers on my counter could make me so uneasy.
- We rented Garden State. (Which, thank god, because she wanted to rent Collateral. That conversation went something like this: "Hey, why don't we rent that movie with Tom Cruise? What's his name was nominated for an Oscar!" "No." "What, you don't like Tom Cruise?" "No.")
So now I've finally seen Garden State and people can stop telling me how much I have to see it because it is so good. If you still haven't seen it I'm sure you have already heard this a billion times so I won't bore you with why I liked it.
I will tell you that I watched all of the DVD special features and my favourite part of the commentary was when Zach Braff mentions that the Desert Storm trading cards are real and that he bought them off eBay for nine dollars. Ha! This is funny because it means that they are worth even less than Mark says they are in the movie. But also because it raises so many interesting questions. Is Zach Braff like my friend Gavin, who spends all his free time at work surfing eBay, looking for random shit to buy? Or was he looking specifically for Desert Storm trading cards? And did he buy them specifically for the movie, or before he even wrote them into the script? Regardless, it's funny.
And so is the part of the movie when they are standing hesitantly outside the ark in the rain and Large says to Mark, "So knock. Knock and barter for Desert Storm trading cards," and Mark answers, "Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an asshole."
I am so using that comeback the next time someone makes fun of me for watching Degrassi: The Next Generation or for wanting a salad spinner.
- Speaking of which, there is a new episode of D:TNG tonight and I am excited because I have been waiting for Degrassi to do a story on gambling ever since last fall when the story broke that students at a private school here in Montreal were selling counterfeit money to pay off their gambling debts and then for weeks the news was full of exposes on how gambling among teenagers is a big problem these days. The commercials for the episode make it look kind of lame but I still have high hopes. [UPDATE: It was lame.]
Also, I am dying (hmm, bad choice of words?) to find out what happens to Spinner, who was expelled at the end of the last episode before the holidays for his role in the prank that catalyzed the school shooting - even though it was all Jay's idea. Poor Spinner. I think he is essentially a good kid, but he is dumb and easily manipulated into making bad choices. What he needs right now is a good role model, and getting expelled will likely not provide that. I feel so motherly and protective of all the characters. Oh, teenage melodrama, how I love you. (God, I need someone to talk about this show with.)
- Getting back to the Garden State commentary, the other interesting thing was that Zach Braff had to have the "I (heart) Newark" t-shirt that the Attica-screaming kid at the party is wearing made, because apparently they don't really make them anymore. Which is sad, and also reminds me...
- It turns out someone has made my idea for a t-shirt that says "I (heart) ME", except that they don't seem to realize that the ME can also stand for Maine, which was sort of the whole point. Without the double entendre the shirt is just narcissistic and I don't like it anymore. The company also has a shirt that reads "KILL PARIS AND NICOLE TOO WHILE YOUR [sic] AT IT" and, well. I hope that just speaks for itself and explains the many levels of reasons why I still must make my own "I (heart) ME" shirt. In my version of the shirt, the words will now appear inside an outline in the shape of the state of Maine. Most people will probably still miss this reference, but it will make the ones that don't much, much cooler.
- And finally, I went to the police station yesterday and filed a police report on my wallet which was stolen a year ago and the police officer laughed at me. I'm mostly just glad that's over because I have been putting it off for, well, basically a year, (you would not believe how much I had to psych myself up for the simple task of walking through the door of the police station*) and now I can stop worrying about someone stealing my identity. I mean, it may still happen, but this way I will be protected. I think. The lesson, for those of you following along at home, is this: do not carry your social insurance number card around with you in your wallet.
*Even though the only other time I have ever been inside a police station was not a big deal. I just have a very strong fear and dislike of authority figures, which extends to security guards, doctors, bosses, sales people, most professors, etc. I have, shall we say, issues.
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"The mind of the thoroughly well informed [person] is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, and everything priced above its proper value."
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