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the day most couples break up due to unrealistic expectations
In my defence, I wear a lot of red most days:
S.: [surveying my backpack, my scarf, my shirt, and the kerchief on my head] Wow, you've got a lot of red going on today.
Me: Well it IS Valentine's Day.
S.: Ohhh, right. [rolls her eyes in disgust. Then notices her own shirt, which I am staring at.] Shit! I'm wearing red too! I HATE being a conformist! This sucks!
On the 80 bus:
Gay man on cell phone: "Well, I'm just heading home now to pick up my bouquet. I've gotten three messages today telling me that a beautiful floral arrangement was delivered and is waiting for me at home. I know! I hope it's not some psycho." [He then went on a long gossipy rant about how his friend -- whose full name he spoke loudly enough so that the whole bus could hear it -- is back with that guy he knows is bad for him.]
Chic woman on cell phone: [freaking out] "How can there not be theme colours for a bridal shower?! What are we going to do?!"
College girl, to her friend: "Can you believe how they were all just like, 'Do you have any plans for tonight?!' Like, HELLO! It's Valentine's Day! Do you think that he thinks that she's his girlfriend, but she doesn't? Or vice versa?"
Friend: "Well, he did introduce her as his girlfriend."
Girl: "I know! What's up with that?"
People of the world: seriously. Chill the fuck out. I am developing a face twitch.
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"The mind of the thoroughly well informed [person] is a dreadful thing. It is like a bric-a-brac shop, all monsters and dust, and everything priced above its proper value."
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