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smells and harry potter
For some reason, all the interesting things I've read today have fallen into one of these two categories. They are not related. First, smells:
Good Smell Perplexes New Yorkers.
Strawberry Smell Trademark Denied: " The company argued that while strawberries may look and taste different, they all smell the same, and as a result could be trademarked. The court took a different view, and smell experts found that instead of just one aroma, strawberries can in fact have up to five different, distinct scents." The smell of freshly cut grass has been trademarked, however.
Second, Harry Potter:
Here is a website devoted to the quality of the translations of Harry Potter into Chinese, Japanese and Vietnamese. The Whomping Willow, for example, is variously translated as "person-hitting willow," "willow that struggles stupidly," "the violent/rioting willow" and "the whip willow tree." I am kind of fascinated.
Weirdly, I came across that website through a project I am working on right now at work. I also came across some disturbing Harry Potter fan fic, described as follows: "Guilt. Confession. Sex. Betrayal. The agonizing power of human choice. They all collide when the Hogwarts train runs off the tracks near Coventry with Draco, Harry, Ginny in a marooned car... and a mystery brooding over them they can't begin to imagine." I didn't read it, but I'm pretty sure it contains, amongst other fucked up things, a threesome involving the three aformentioned characters.
And, finally, the flying car from the HP movies has been stolen.
loveliness
(To counteract the horror.)
Bitch magazine (my favourite magazine) is having its second not-really-annual fundraising auction right now.
*shudder*
Well, I finally figured out where all those tiny black bugs I kept finding around my sink every morning for the past week were coming from: an unopened bag of rice. It was totally infested.
Say it with me: EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!
My skin hasn't stopped crawling since I found them. I don't think I ever knew what that really felt like until now.
Oh, and I am not even going to get into those twin 13-yrs-old girl white supremacist folk-pop singer-songwriters, because trust me, you don't want to know.
when one is expecting historical fiction
There was a bit of an blog meme a while back about finding the worst reviews on amazon.com of your favourite books. Today at The Morning News, Matthew Baldwin has collected some of the worst reviews of some of the books from Time Magazine's recent list of the 100 best books since 1923. (You know how I love lists.) Some of my all-time favourite books happen to be on this list, including:
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
Author: Kurt Vonnegut
"In the novel, they often speak of a planet called Tralfamadore, where he was displayed in a zoo with a former movie star by the name of Montana Wildhack. I thought that the very concept of a man who was kidnapped by aliens was truly unbelievable and a tad ludicrous. I did not find the idea of aliens kidnapping a human and putting them in a zoo very plausible. While some of the Tralfamadorians' concept of death and living in a moment would be comforting for a war veteran, I found it relatively odd. I do not believe that an alien can kidnap someone and house them in a zoo for years at a time, while it is only a microsecond on earth. I also do not believe that a person has seven parents."
this is not what i missed
Last night I dreamt that a man was being tortured. Then I woke up and realized that it hadn't been a dream; my clock radio was going off and the man was Abdullah Almaki, describing in detail, to Anna Maria Tremonti of The Current, how he was tortured in a Syrian prison for two years. The first thing they did was they held him down while they poured boiling water on the soles of his feet.
That is the worst thing to wake up to EVER.
I may never recover.
In other news, I had a terrible day. Not so much news as the status quo at this point. I am surviving only thanks to denial. A very healthy coping mechanism, thank you.
dirrty
Thanks to the season premiere of Veronica Mars and subsequently to the internet, I have recently learned of the existence of a certain hand gesture known as The Shocker. You might know it by one of any of almost 100 different phrases, the most popular of which appears to be "Two in the pink, one in the stink" -- but my favourite is "Two in the flower, one in the mud." I did not know of it at all.
Other than the peculiarly Scottish "Gills" gesture, The Shocker is the only hand gesture on this list that I was not previously aware of. Since I kind of see it as my professional duty to keep up to date on the current slang, be it verbal or gestural, this, to me is a huge, shameful gap in my knowledge. Who dropped the ball on this one, people? Did you know about this and not tell me?
While most people's reactions to learning about The Shocker are something along the lines of "EWWWWW!", I am utterly fascinated and have a lot questions that I am having a hard time finding answers to. Where and when did The Shocker originate? How widespread is its use? When did it become widespread? Is its use associated with a particular age group? (This makes me feel old.) Do my friends and family know about The Shocker? I am trying to think of a way to phrase the question that will not make for a very awkward conversation... While I, personally, am not in any way offended by anal sex, (although, higher risk of STD transmission, you should be aware. /PSA) many people feel very uncomfortable discussing it. Which, I guess, is ultimately the root of my problem: the company I keep these days is too damn polite. That's right, bitches, I am calling you out!
Except not really. I love you. And I would never dream of asking you to change. Unless you are harboring some particularly offensive slang I don't know about. In which case: spit it out!
At least I've got Logan Echolls, the character on Veronica Mars, who, in the same episode as he used the shocker gesture, also spoke the line, "Can Dick and Beaver come out and play?" And he was only pretending to refer to the Casablancas boys. Really, he meant it in the dirty way. Veronica Mars is the best show on TV you are probably not watching. Shame on you. You can learn a lot from this show; I have.
little girls scare me
I had a weird experience yesterday in a basement clothing store changing room. Suddenly, in the mirror, I saw a little girl's head pop under the door. Our eyes locked, and we just stared at each other. In the mirror. Forever. I couldn't move, I couldn't look away, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I couldn't figure out what to say. "Please stop invading my privacy, little girl, you are making me very uncomfortable"? Neither could she, apparently, but probably for different reasons. I finally managed to break the spell and tear my eyes away, but I could still see her at the edge of my field of vision. I glanced back: she was still staring. Finally, I turned around and stared resolutely at the wall. I didn't move until I heard her and her mother leave the changing area.
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